The Steps to Transformation

Forewarning... this one might sting a little. It might smack you in the face a bit. I'm not putting these words to paper as a "this is the way to do it, this is what you HAVE to do to make a change and listen to me, I know the way, I know the secret, I know the truth." I'm not trying to be the one to tell you what to do. This is more of a "I know the failure, I know the mess, I know the fear, the angst, the worry, the confusion and the grief of not knowing what the hell to do to get out of the place that you've put yourself in."

There's the sting. "Put myself in? I don't think so," you might be saying.

I'm not sure what you've gone through, and I'm not even sure what you are still going through, but what I do know is how it works, and whether it stings and you shun this information that I am choosing to share in writing today, or you choose to accept this and take it for truth, the truth is, you are the one that is living this experience, and the truth and acceptance and choice are always yours. (Whether you're making this choice right here right now, on this level, or whether you made a choice on another level and you are now consciously living with that choice.

Here you will find love, empathy, encouraging words of strength and further choices of ease, but you will never find the validation to stay in the excuses and arguing for your limitations. The "reasons," valid or invalid, for holding yourself in the shitty feelings, habits, and situations that you are holding yourself to. Notice a theme? There are three steps in any transformation. Be it physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or financial.... ANY Transformation.


I know, that sounds completely stupid. Decide.... but it's true. There is a difference between commitment and dabbling. Dabblers try, they fiddle, they wobble, they give up. When you DECIDE, there is nothing that is going to get in the way of what you want to do. When you DECIDE, you can change your plan 20 thousand times if you have to, but no matter what happens, you are moving forward. You are past the point of return, and you are never going back. There is one direction, and one direction only, and that is towards the goal. You might not yet know the way, and that is what the next step is for, that is why the path is never a straight line, and it definitely will not be an easy one. You may have failures. You may feel defeated, but failure is only an indication that you were taking the wrong route, and just like GPS, all you have to do is put in your destination, and your current location, and you will be led, via the fastest route possible, to the place you desire to be.


Photo by Startup Stock Photos from Pexels

Failure to plan is a plan for failure. As mentioned earlier, failure is a redirection, so why would you not set up a plan for yourself to move forward before a redirection? Think about this for just a moment. You have Decided to commit to transformation and change because something in your life has put you in a shitty place. There is major dis-ease in your current situation, and you have decided to make change. To be the deliberate cause and choice of change. Why would you not set up a plan for yourself to carry out for the third and final step of the transformation? I like to set my goals and then plan weekly for them. I have uploaded a sample of what I do for myself for a weekly schedule, which changes often after a few weeks of execution. This plan should include the small steps necessary to the execution of all of your goals, the ones that are of the utmost importance to you, of course. You might not know all the steps, and you might not yet, from your place of being, know the way..... In this situation, all you have to do is make the plan for the beginning, and with dedication and consistency, the rest of the steps to the desired outcome will begin to diligently unfold before you.

Although you do not want to overwhelm yourself, if you have small steps to accomplish daily, weekly, and monthly, you go about your days embodying the energy and the actions of the person that you are aspiring to become, and this will ultimately have you looking back at these times as a fond memory of the small increments to accomplishment. You will be so proud of yourself for this accomplishment. You might miss some times, and those are the evenings when you say to yourself- "What can I do better tomorrow?" and that is the discomfort in which you will see yourself transforming. Change always comes in some form of discomfort, whether it is the discomfort that you experience that causes you to ask for the change, or the discomfort of the steps in the plan that bring great change, expect discomfort. Decide, and plan and KNOW there will be discomfort. make it your friend.

This brings us to our third step:


Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels

The other two steps are usually the ones that are completed, half ass-ed, and then when people whom don't succeed get to this step, they quit or give up. why? Because shit is HARD! It's uncomfortable.

WHY? Because by the time we reach a certain age, our body and our psyche, brain, emotions, habits, they are all intertwined in a pattern that they are carrying out 95% of the time. 95% of the time you are in a subconscious state of carrying out patterns that are ingrained in your habitual mind and life. If you take a look at the finite time we have remaining on this lifetime... I mean really, do you really have ANY idea how much time you have? None of us do. I am sitting here writing this to you, and I have no idea if I will transition (die) in a car accident on the way to the place that I plan to go later today, or on the way home, or just keel over from some unforeseen health issue no one knew I had. That is not to be said to instill any kind of fear, it is said to instill urgency of understanding, of consideration, of the fragile sensitivity of time.

And even with that being said, and the goals of the weekend to include (because life happens and I had to shift some execution around,) do you know what I did right before I began this portion of the post? I jumped up to accommodate my 4 yr old, which led to me getting him dressed, then into the bedroom I went, and before I knew it, a cup of coffee later, I was in front of my bathroom mirror, putting my makeup on, and I realized I hadn't even finished this post. Is that procrastination of some form? Maybe, but its definitely a manifestation of the fact that I am not holding myself in the present moment. I am not bringing my full awareness to the task at hand. THIS is the key to execution. To be able to look at the "shittyness" of what you may have to deal with, or feel, or think, while you are completing or executing each and every step of the plan (or even of the deviated plan.) Whether it be the fear of it, the hatred of the steps, because they feel uncomfortable, it's an execution. You are executing, my friend. You are killing it dead, may it be a morbid way to look at it, you can CHOOSE to be offended, or you can CHOOSE to let that thought transform you into a warrior. THIS is what you do. You CHOOSE that you will take the pain, the emotion, the tears, whatever may come in that time of execution, and you will transform that energy into energy you will use to accomplish what you need to accomplish. You will thank the Universe for the pain, because it will transform you. You will NOTICE your anger, and let it burn, as it is fuel, energy, to be transformed. You will thank the jerk that had nasty things to say to you, because you forgave them and transformed the mediocre energy they threw at you into excellence.

You. WILL. You just have to decide.

Here are some references and links to hopefully help motivate the junk right out of you. Remember... take nothing personally, because

Some other names that you may want to search on YouTube on this topic of transformation are:

Anthony Robbins

Be Inspired

Ben Lionel Scott

Ed Mylette

Eric Thomas

Evan Charmicheal

Jim Rohn

John Assaraf

Lewis Howes

Mel Robbins

Michael Beckwith

Tom Bilyeu

You are Creators

There are some speakers that are more spiritual and some that are not, but I have noticed that at the level of energy to which many of us aspire, there is always some form of spiritual belief system in something that is greater than we are. This is NOT a religious statement. This is a practice of discipline. To watch this blog post as a video, click the below video.

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​©2016 Heather Barrington
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